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Fly Free

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:51 AM
I fly across meadows of green
I swim across skies of blue
I row through mountains of grey
I sail across clouds of white

The world is my playground
Time can no longer contain me
I go where I will
I will where I go

To see the world as I see
To feel the world as I feel
I no longer live in the world
The world lives in me

consequences be damned
I go where my heart leads
To make the unknown
Known only to me

Layout by faerie-lullaby
  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

I Need Her Still

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:50 AM
I try so hard, to remember her smile
the sound of her laugh,
the smell of her hair...

Can you see her?
Can you see her standing there?

Her eyes they stare, so cold and dark
No life is there, no light no spark

Can you remember?
Can you hear her cries?
Can you feel her touch?

Remembering so painful,
but forgetting is torture.

I want, I need, I crave, I beg;
but in the end, I fear the pain.

Her ghost still lingers, lost and alone.
She lies within my soul, she hides in my heart
She cannot die, but she cannot live
I need her still, forever I will
If you see her, please tell her
I need her still, I always will.

♥ CSS by faerie-lullaby
  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

A Winter Scene

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:46 AM
The morning sun slowly rises
Above the great white mountain peaks.
The cold wind blows unmercifully
Through the vast deserted valleys
The trees creek and moan
Under the immense pressure of the wind

As quick as the snow began
It now ceases
Lulling the landscape into a hushed silence
The wind has died
The falling snow no more
The tranquil scene lay untouched
In front of heaven's door

How much longer will this tranquillity go undisturbed
How much longer till nature awakens

Soon in the distance
A chick-a-dee is heard
Then a roaring bobcat
Nature is slowly unfolding
Her graceful wings of life

As the day passes
And the sun climbs higher
In the deep blue sky
The snow begins to melt
The brooks begin to bubble

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Arrogance

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:32 AM
Proud aristocrats
Lavishly decorated state rooms
A rigid separation of the social classes
A power matched by no other ship
Believed by millions a ship that God himself could not sink
A series of events set into motion
That none would ever realise until the final end

A ship that could match no other
In Elegance, glamour, comfort, safety or strength
The Lower classes separated by bars, locks and signs
Each on their way to a new life in America
That's all they ever wanted
Beating records despite all dangers and warnings
Was far from their thoughts and dreams

On a cold moonless night,
Black Death reaches out her cruel hands and inflicts The deciding blow on the unsinkable Titanic.
"This ship could not possibly go down, she is unsinkable",
Were words believed by all, and took many to watery graves
Far below the surface of the Atlantic.
Husbands torn apart from wives,
Fathers torn apart from helpless little children.
Ageless rules of the sea
Understood by all

"Women and children first",
The cries echoed across the empty ocean.
Time would never again see an ocean catastrophe so gripping or so large.
As the ship took its final plunge into the icy black depths,
The gentle music of Nearer My God to Thee
Will forever echo across the timeless sea,
To which so many lives were taken.

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Am I Broken

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:30 AM
the hours tick on

the battle fades

the dust settles

is it really true

is all that's left

just broken glass

shards of once was

pieces of our hearts

torn in a moment of misspoken words

and heated emotions

is that all we can ever be

past tense

were all those months

of pouring out our hearts

our souls

was it all to end like this

I miss the old us

before it broke

I miss my friend

I miss what we were

is there a way back

a rewind

a delete

or am I forever left with broken glass

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Brother Moon

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:24 AM
The moon swings down low
Gently caressing the calm open sea
With its effervescent glow
Singing the world a lullaby
As it rides across the black night sky
Casting its light down upon
The mortals asleep below
Watching over them
And keeping the dark at bay
Till once again the moon rides on
Making way for his sister the sun,
Who will light the world,
With her warm, embrace
Heating the hearts of those who toil
Until once again she leaves the sky
Leaving only her brother moon
To serve as a beacon of hope
And guardian of all who live upon the land
Until she once again shines her light upon the world below

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Burning Bridges

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:23 AM
The path laid out ahead

is long and dark

but the path behind me

Is littered with rubble

Smoke dots the horizon

Thick black smoke

billowing into the sky

marking the bridges I've burned

Alone and lost

no turning back

no place to call home

No other choice

but to trudge on ahead

Into the dark, into the void

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Choices

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:22 AM
At every step of one’s life
There are always
Two paths that divide
Two choices to make
Two ways to go
Do you wake up,
Do you stay in bed?
Do you love,
Do you hate?
Do you work,
Do you play?
Do you live,
Do you die?
Always choices to make
Always a different outcome
Behind each one
Past
Present
Future
Love
Death
Hate
Life
All living as one
As thoughts melt into one loud rhythm
In the end you will always return
To the same place
What would have been different
If you had chosen the road not taken?

♥ CSS by faerie-lullaby
  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Comfort

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:21 AM
The morning sunrise
A baby's precious smile
The cheerful colours of a rainbow
Are all very simple things
But all have the ability
To warm the soul
And to comfort the heart

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Discovering

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:11 AM
Our whole life is spent discovering
Discovering who we were
Discovering who we are
Discovering who we will become

The past is the anchor that holds us
And reminds us who we are
The present is the canvas on which we create
Who we are to become
The future is the wings
On which all of our hopes and dreams will soar

Our perspective on life is constantly in motion
when we gaze into the past
We gain an understanding
An understanding that was not possible when the past was the present

As we live in the present
We base all of our decisions on the knowledge
That we gained from the past
And from on our desires as we gaze into the future

As we look towards the future
It is a blank canvas on which all of our hopes
Our dreams
And our desires
Have the potential to become our present.

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Falling

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:10 AM
As I lay here watching you,
I begin to realise
Just how much I am falling in love with you

I say the words
Over and over in my mind
But I'm too scared to say them out loud

Everything is perfect when we are together
Almost too good to be true
You came into my life
At a time that I wasn't searching for love
But love found me

I've crashed and burned before
But when I'm with you
I have this undeniable feeling
That I'll never crash or burn again

With you I am complete
With you my search is over
I finally have my ever after
And there is no doubt that I have fallen
Completely and totally
In love with you

Layout by faerie-lullaby
  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Fractured

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:09 AM
I scream inside

But I cannot die

I have promises to keep

and volumes to write

but this feeling inside

is drowning me from within

My world of dreams

So beautifully constructed

So perfect and blissful

Now only bring pain

My dreams are so bright

My life so bleak

No paths leading ahead

no bridges leading back

Stuck in a loop

I cannot break

I can feel the cracks

As they spread throughout

my heart and my soul

How long can I live

with a fractured soul

How long can I survive

when all hope feels lost

♥ CSS by faerie-lullaby
  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Full Circle

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:08 AM
Lilies fall into the sea
Oceans flow along the abyss
Stars fly across the sky
Falling
Flowing
Flying
The universe abounds full circle

♥ CSS by faerie-lullaby
  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

I Lost You

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:08 AM
As I sit and gaze upon the date

A wave of sadness washes over me

I realise now, though it's too late,

Just how much, you meant to me

All those years, those 18 years

You could have been mine, I could have been yours

But instead I am here, and you are there

And time just keeps on, ticking by

Pulling us further with each hour

I have only myself to blame, for not realising sooner

For not seeing what we could have been

For not believing in you, for not believing in us

You were the one, and I was a fool

I'll never forget, those times we shared

the fair, the fudge, the midnight rides

You loved me true, like no other could

But I was shallow and I made mistakes

the bridges burned, the past is gone

I hope you're happy, you deserve the world

You deserve someone, someone to love you like you loved me

It's hard to believe 18 years have passed

since that day I chased you for the fudge

You've always been my knight, my star, my one true love

But I was a fool, and I pushed you away

The price I pay, for my foolish ways

I lost you, I lost my heart, I lost my love

♥ CSS by faerie-lullaby
  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

In This Place

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:07 AM
In this place I feel free
Free from all of life's
Never-ending burdens
Free from the race
Called everyday life

Time is eternal here
There is no schedule
No one to answer to
What I do here
Is mine and mine alone

My creations
My dreams
My aspirations
I answer only to me
I rest
I explore
I journey
I am restrained by nothing

The air is pure and invigorating
Here I am alive
Here I am safe
Here I can taste freedom

My sense's are connected
To the land around me
The scenery envelopes me
The simpleness of it all restores my spirit
And quenches my soul

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Inspiration

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:05 AM
Ever seeking
Ever listening
Ever needing
The inspiration that abounds
Flowing across mountain peaks
As ferocious as a hurricane's gale
Seeping up through a dry river's bed
As gentle as a water's slow trickle
Ever finding
Ever hearing
Ever having
The inspiration that astounds
A booming voice calling out from the dark
For all the world to hear
A gentle whisper from deep within
For only your heart to know

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Is There Light?

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:02 AM
Millions of specks
Millions of people
Scattering
Scampering
Ever moving towards the light
Is there light at the end
Or is there only dark
Hearts keep beat
Breath keeps time
Our body
A finely tuned orchestration
Ever crescendoing towards the finale

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

No Strings

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:01 AM
You Say you are sorry
And as much as I appreciate the gesture
I say to you
Those words are not now, nor ever will be, needed
Because despite the distance
Despite what you felt you did
There is something more important
something greater and more lasting
Than the words "I'm Sorry"
And they are this
I love you
From the depths of my soul
From the depths of my heart
I love you unconditionally
I love you because I want to
Not because I have to

You could never in a million years fail me
Because no matter what you did
No matter what you are doing
And no matter what you will do
I will still love you
I will still be here for you
I will still be your friend
I will still be everything you want me to be

As the present ebbs away
And the future looms before us
There will be times
When the things we say to each other
Promises we may try to make
That life will not let us keep
But remember
You can never disappoint me
Because I love you too much
You can never fail me
Because I care about you too much

If I could move mountains
If I could perform miracles
You would be my daughter
And we would be under the same roof
And I would shelter you
Protect you when you are scared
Love you when you are sad
Be there for you always

But life isn't always fair
We both know the realities
Of how cruel the world can be
So from here, until the end of time
Remember these words
Remember them always
I will always love you
And you are ALWAYS forgiven
Before you even ask.

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

Spring Nights

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 10:00 AM
In the still night air
Winter's icy grasp can still be felt
But its grasp is faltering
No longer can my breath be seen

I can smell it in the air
I can feel it in my soul
The change is near
Spring will soon be here

The stars peer down from the heavens
They bless the magical landscape
With just a kiss of their light
Illuminating the frozen lake

The ice and snow give off a light of their own
Contrasting against the dark landscape
That envelopes the lake
And swallows it whole

The ground no longer crunches
Beneath my silent feat
Just cold and hard
As Spring slowly seeps through the cold winter landscape

  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew

The Road Not Taken

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 28, 2016, 9:59 AM
The past

A long highway of broken dreams

of unkept promises

of woulda coulda shoulda's

The choices were made

and time moved on

leaving me longing

for the road not taken

Thinking back, to the smiling faces

The friends who were there

The friends who cared

Bur pride keeps me moving

On into the night

the choices were made

There's no turning back

What right do I have

To call on them now

After so long apart

All I can do

Is to keep moving on

To hope for the best

And to try and forget

The road not taken

Layout by faerie-lullaby
  • Listening to: Skyrim music
  • Reading: Wizard's First Rule
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Mtn Dew